I asked my italian grandfather if the rough parts of Italy were called the spaghetto and he looked at me with so much shame.

(via swaggaliciouspancake)


so there was a bug in my room so i got my mom to kill it because i hate bugs and then she was like

"you have to learn to kill bugs for your girlfriend"

and i was like

"ill get my boyfriend to do it"

and thats how i came out to my mom

(Quelle: southwatertribe, via swaggaliciouspancake)

(Quelle: klainalsex, via pizza)


"Only lesbians watch Orange is the New Black"


(via queenoftarth)


*seduces the president so i can find out the truth about aliens*

(via queenoftarth)